Diary of a Creator, July 2024

I’ve started this creator journey a few times before but never saw it through.

Attempts so far

My first attempt was in 2018. Instagram was booming and good photos were all you needed. I wanted to be a travel creator and maybe travel the world for free. I posted irregularly but actively. My pictures gained traction, and many pages shared them, crediting me. Back then, that was the way to grow on Instagram. My posts casually received 300-500 likes from all over the world. Then I stopped because I stopped travelling.

The second attempt was in late 2020. This time, I used the platform to showcase my work as a freelance content writer. I hoped to build a six-figure business like many freelancers dream of. That went on and off for a year, and I did get a few clients, but that was it.

Then came my dance page, which started in April 2023 and went strong until April 2024. The idea was to document my journey from amateur to expert dancer. Secretly, I hoped to make it big but never managed to reach even 500 followers. But, I grew considerably as a dancer.

So, I’ve tried many times and failed. Yet, here I am again.

I know this is my path – to create something of my own, to build the life I want through social media platforms and this blog. I’ve known it since my first attempt. But the direction was a problem.

A few things are different now 👇

• I have a clearer sense of what I want to do. After years of chasing surface-level goals, I’ve found my purpose (I think).
• I’ve tried other options, and they don’t work for me. A full-time job simply isn’t an option.
• This time, I’m not quitting. Period.

Starting last month (June 2024), I’ve made this my primary goal and priority.

I experimented with travel vlogging in June but didn’t enjoy it all that much, even though one video did well. Towards the end of June, I began figuring out the topics and stories I was genuinely interested in.

So, I stuck to those topics this month (July 2024). As I’m writing this on the 29th, I’ve put out nine pieces of content, and a few I’m proud of.

Why ‘Diary of a Creator’

There are a couple of reasons –

1. I’m in for the long game and I need to keep track – Now that I’ve decided to do this for the years to come, I wanted to keep track of the ups and downs of the roller coaster. Primarily because sometimes it feels very hopeless and futile. On those times, I want to recollect my ups and remind myself that it will pass.
2. A reassurance to others on a similar journey – I feel very lonely and am filled with self-doubt at times. But every time I connect with a fellow creator, they tell me that they are going through the same. So, I maybe this diary will reassure people on a similar journey that they aren’t alone.

This diary will include my everyday updates (I might take a few days off because I’m human) with all the emotions and actions shaping this journey. No sugar coating. No glorifying. No hiding the steps I’m taking.

July So Far

Since I’m starting on July 29th, this month will have only three entries. But a lot has happened till now and I wanted to share them in a quick list:

• I realized I couldn’t do it alone and got myself an accountability buddy. We call each week to discuss updates, challenges, and rant about this whole thing.
• I started a series called ‘Choosing Joy,’ and it just felt right.
• By the second video of the ‘Choosing Joy’ series, I started questioning things. A few days into this rabbit hole, I realized the challenge wasn’t with the series but with my attempt to make my videos cinematic, which isn’t my skill or interest. So, I simplified my videos and focused on my message and storytelling.
• This decision worked out well, and I started creating with much more ease.
• One goal for this month was to start pitching to brands, but I cancelled it because I couldn’t convincingly articulate why I wanted to work with them. So, I paused reaching out to brands until I got clarity.
• When a piece doesn’t perform well, I feel demotivated for a few days, thinking my efforts are wasted.
• When a piece does well, I also feel unmotivated for a few days, affected by the dopamine crash and pressure to do better, which ruins my creativity.
• Observing this annoying pattern, I set up a few strategies to keep going despite these waves. I created different work blocks for the day to designate time for work, and I wrote prayers to clear my head and set proper intentions to get started.

July 29 – Monday – Overwhelmed

I had a lot to do today. But I didn’t do anything! I got overwhelmed with all the tasks and the idea of starting a Joy Circle (a workshop) felt too daunting. What if no one wants to join? I spoke to a friend who reassured me it’d be okay.

I still felt too paralyzed to take action. So, I went to the gym and listened to ‘Show Your Work’ by Austin Kleon for some motivation. It helped a lot and motivated me enough to start this diary entry, which I’d been putting off for a week.

July 30 – Tuesday – Meh

I posted a video today. I loved the script I wrote and found gaps during the day to edit the video. But I wasn’t fully happy with how it turned out, maybe because I felt like I wasn’t giving it the dedicated time it deserved. I’m not expecting it to do well but I really wanted to get it out today as I will be busy the next couple of days.

July 31 – Wednesday – Good month

I have postponed Joy Circle. I was supposed to conduct a trial version this Saturday but I feel like I need more time to research and prepare for this. My mom is here and that’s taking up a lot of time. With me being doubtful if I can even share 3 posts this week, I didn’t want to rush into it.

Also, monthly reflections are my favourite thing! This month when I look back, I can see how consistent I have become and how relatively easy content creation has become for me. I haven’t achieved any major numerical milestones, but this is still a great improvement in the last two months!

The growth might not be impressive but it is there. That’s more than good enough for me to keep going.